– Robert Frost
It has been a while since I wrote. I haven’t really known what to talk about, but I’m going to continue writing when I can. Geez, looking back at my writings, I haven’t written since Easter… yikes. We’ll we are in full bloom at work. It’s wedding season, and planting season, so it’s relatively busy right now at work. I have been toiling around with things going on in my life right now that I don’t know what I should do… Some say follow your heart, some say it’s just a cross to bear, and after your journey with this cross, you shall recieve a crown. I’ve actually been quite down about everything frankly- and don’t know who to talk to, and who not. I have such trust issues because I’ve always been disappointed in the past, no one has ever given me the time to just vent, and keep it to themselves; and without judging me for my thoughts, words, or actions. I feel alone, as if no one else feels the need for responsibility, and here I am beating myself up, over small things. Why can’t I find comfort for the things I worry about? We all have our flaws in life, some physically show, and some we keep bottled up, and let it destroy us from the inside- Sometimes I feel that I’ve been given too many flaws and not enough coursage to deal with them, or stand up for myself. Sure there are people that die from cancer, live with deformities, or don’t even get the chance at a true life. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore… Why is it that when I try to do something that might encourage others to think differently or try to improve things, that I slapped across the face, and kicked in the mud. I play my feelings off with jokes, and try not to let others see the pain I feel, but sometimes I know it seeps through. I pray that everything begins to fall back together again….